If you’re feeling lost and looking for some inspiration or would like to talk with someone that will not pass judgment on you, please feel free to contact me by leaving a comment at the end of this post. Posts are kept anonymous. Definitely take a minute to check out all the content. Is your rape controlling you? Well this website is to help YOU GET BACK IN CONTROL. It is to offer anonymous, encouraging ideas which can hopefully help rape survivors deal with their emotions, which is a necessary process in order to start the healing process. I thought as a survivor, with a year of personal counseling under my belt, and currently a rape counselor (my purpose in life now) why not share what I’ve learned with those in need. I know as a survivor the variety of mixed emotions, that can seem almost impossible to deal with at times, that affect you in your everyday life. As a counselor for 5 years I’ve also been exposed to a lot of different situations and types of rape. Please know you are not alone and you don’t have to be!.
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Dealing with Rape 
I was raped 2 years ago and still now it’s hard but getting a lot harder all I do is have nightmares and flashbacks are getting worse but it is also affecting my relationship a lot now I need advice
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S. The best advice is counseling and the fact that you have come here for help means you are ready for counseling. You see the more you let it out the more room you have to heal. The longer you try and avoid it and move forward without dealing with it the more it builds up in your body and finds it’s own way of dealing hence the nightmares and how it’s affecting your relationship. I also don’t recommend having a relationship until you’ve gone through counseling because of the adverse affects. Typically the first couple relationships we have after rape are for all the wrong reasons anyway and we are trying to prove something to ourselves. Counseling isn’t as hard as people think and it’s definitely harder trying to go forward without professional help. Counseling is the only true way to recover from rape and build a healthy happy future for you and your relationships. Stay strong! Lynn
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Hi. I just read the beginning of this post and I really need to talk to someone so I thought this might be a good place. I think I was raped. I don’t know whether it was, but I was so drunk and pretty much passed out, and my roommate that I’ve only lived with for a month came in my room and had sex with me. I was unable to say no or understand what was going on… I am so traumatized and upset about what happened. We both have significant others and I am too scared to tell anyone. Its just a really horrible situation and I am worried about diseases. I am getting tested on Tuesday, and I take birth control but I also took the plan b pill just incase because I threw up my pill that night and missed one previously that week. I just really feel so horrible and embarrassed and I cannot believe this happened to me. My worst fear actually happened.. I’m just hoping by talking to someone that it will help me. Its so hard to think about it
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L. I’m glad ou are getting tested now you need to move out and if he harasses you again call the police. Get something to protect yourself with, like pepper spray a bat just something and don’t drink around him. Also, if you aren’t going to call the cops please don’t threaten him in anyway. Don’t threaten to call the cops don’t threaten to tell his girlfriend, nothing. Just make your move plans and try and stay away as much as possible, stay with a friend whatever it takes for your safety. When you move change your phone number too BUT keep his. What happens more than 50% of the time when it is someone you know and you don’t turn them in (and lets be clear this WAS rape) they think they can get away with it again so whatever you do, get the hell outta there as soon as possible. Stay Safe! Lynn
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I was raped when I was 10 (I am 14 now) and several times since then by the same person. It has left me with PTSD, anxiety, and depression. I always believe that it is my fault that it happened. And the fact that I still see him doesn’t help either. He has also abused me physically and verbally when he does it. Leading me to believe terrible things about myself.
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M. That’s what happens when you don’t tell a family member, authorities, a teacher, a friend. Rape is about control, not you! So the more control they have over you by threatening you or family members or mind control like being verbally abusive the more it’s gonna happen. So I need you to be more scared of him raping you than you are to tell someone that YOU KNOW will help you, I don’t care who it is just someone you KNOW will get you the help you need and get away from this person doing this to you! You need to tell someone that is the only way the vicious cycle will stop and you must get counseling. If you don’t want this to affect the rest of your life, your relationships, your family when you get older you NEED counseling! I believe in you and your future but you have to take back control of your life.. Tell someone! You and your future ARE worth it! It’s your life not his. Stay strong! Lynn
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Hi there.. I was raped at the age of 15 it was my first time, my first party I’d ever been to, my first drink, my first everything really. I got too drunk to the point of being practically unconscious and constantly being held up by others and I was easy prey for anyone and 2 guys decided to take it upon themselves to take advantage of me. I am now 20 years old and finally dealing with it. For years I felt embarrassed, ashamed, repulsed. It’s caused me a lot of issues recently with my current partner as I hate to open up and talk about anything and it’s so hard. I guess I’m here asking for some advice on how to face it… Deal with it..? Get over it?
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D. Well the fact that you are ready to talk about it is the best first step you can take. As you are aware it doesn’t “just go away”. It takes a lot of courage to be able talk about it but I promise the more you let out the easier it gets and the better you feel. Therefore starting with counseling is what you need to do. And know that is what they are there for so don’t be ashamed in fact as hard as you think it is, I’d be happy that I’m finally able to open up and want the help. It seriously is a huge accomplishment. Something you can do right now is STOP feeling embarrassed and ashamed, you did not do this to yourself. Getting drunk is not a pass for rape. So please put that repulsiveness towards the people that did this, because it doesn’t belong on you! Also, as far as your partner now or in the future you should let them know before any sexual relations. You don’t need to go into any detail other than saying you are a sexual assault “survivor” that is currently working on dealing with it and would like their patience and empathy IF and when it is needed. This will let you know if that partner is strong enough to be with you or not. It’s better to find out before getting invested. Also consider taking some of the everyday ways of dealing I posted on my home page but don’t think any of that replaces good counseling, it is just things to do in the interim of getting counseling. Again please try and let go of you feeling ashamed and be happy that you are finally at a place to seek help! Stay strong, Lynn
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Hi I’m a male 28 years I was raped at a drinks I went to when I was 18 it was the hardest thing to talk about and I have only just talked about it now 10years later I has made me question me as a person, my sexuality, my life I don’t really know who I a, or what it is I like and anything any more. But I told my brother and I felt better.
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S. Your feelings/confusion are completely understandable. I’m glad you were able to finally talk about it with someone you trust. I bet that was a weight lifted. Now can you imagine how good it would feel if you could get some professional help/counseling? The associated feelings with rape are not meant to be locked away, we must deal/feel them and I promise the more you let out the more room you have to heal. Not only will it help you heal it will help your future relationships and I mean all your relationships not just romantic. As you can tell it doesn’t just go away as you’ve been dealing with this for 10 years so try and get some professional counseling or maybe join a group, I promise you will feel even better. Stay strong, Lynn
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